I will no longer blog at muffinsoup anymore, however I will still keep this blog open for good memories' sake.

From now onwards, I shall be writing my thoughts at http://lil-et.blogspot.com simply because of the nicer user interface and cooler features.  I like. :)  And I really love my new blog banner... hahah...

So... happy retirement, muffinsoup... I will miss you heaps... and thanks for being my trusty memory bank for the past 3-4 years...

there are many simple things in life that gives me joy. today it is the slow, hot shower i had after a long day. relaxing and extremely calming. sometimes it is the little things that warms our heart, little gestures that others may miss, but are important to us.

do we really forgive the person who had betrayed us? is it really possible to do so? all my life i have been taught to love my enemies and pray for those who have done me wrong. and to forgive as we have been forgiven. yet being human and having gone through the pain of being betrayed, i know it is not an easy task to practice what u believe in. yes, i believe that one should forgive those who have hurt him/her, and pray for thy enemies, yet though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. we often find it easier to hate than to forgive. when in fact, hating a person drains up so much of our energy and strength and makes us sad, angry and tired. some ppl never forgive because they are afraid to hurt their pride and ego. when in fact, holding back forgiveness and continuing to hate someone takes away the joy we deserve to have. it is a tiring task to hate a person. but it takes guts to forgive our betrayers.

no matter what, being hurt is part and parcel of life. it is undeniably unavoidable. but life is not a bed of roses. perhaps it may be hard to let go of the past and all the bad memories that come along with it, but if we don't let go, are we gonna let it drag along and ruin our present and future? would u let bad memories hinder u from trusting another person? would u let it render u insecure and afraid of letting ur heart free to love again? are u willing to let the past stop u from cherishing the friendship u have now?

i may not always be a very good friend, but i do know that good friends are hard to find. and sometimes in life, we just gotta risk our heart for something that's important to us. if we do not risk, we never lived. life is short, there is not much time in the world to cherish the ones we love and seek the ones who will care for us. don't wait till the day we run out of time and then look back with regret.

good friends are hard to find. hold on to them and cherish your times with them, for they will be your shoulder to cry on and your backbone of support in times of trouble.

Another year has gone by.  I never liked to do reflections upon my past one year and what I have done.  There are many things I know I am not proud of, many regrets, many pains and tears.  I cannot say it has been a really bad year, nor can I say it has been great.  Life goes on anyway, and yes, people do change.  How and why they change is a mystery.

I hate making new year resolutions therefore I stopped doing it years ago.  I don't want to set any goals only to disappoint myself and cause more heartache.  Yeah, I may be a pessimist sometimes, maybe sometimes it is just to protect myself from pain?  Yet pain seems to be the number one thing I am most vulnerable to, it almost seems as though it had become my best friend!  I'm so used to it, sometimes without Pain around, I feel weird.  I feel so alone.  Yet sometimes I wish it would just go away.  Forever.

Christmas season this year has lost its magic.  I don't feel all warm and fuzzy anymore, nor am I in the mood to make cute bookmarks for friends like I used to back in uni.  I cannot say Christmas is the same as it used to be in the past years because it isn't.  Sometimes I wonder if it is I who have changed, perhaps this is why the good old Christmas feeling has eluded me this time around.  I think too much.  I don't want to, but those thoughts just keep coming in.

Whatever it is, Christmas feeling or not, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway.  What matters is the true meaning of Christmas.  And this, I know, will never fade from my heart.

Hope you enjoy this song below... it is my favourite Christmas song and the most meaningful of them all.  Hope this Christmas brings you warmth and joy and abundant blessings from above :)


Happy birthday, Jesus.

My 2nd flat tire in the past 3 months...



The heroes who helped me change the tire... found out that the spare tire was out of air as well... hahahahahah!!!



Root cause: Burst air valve.

Lesson of the day: Always remember to pump your spare tire.

Sexist joke of the day...

Mechanic     : When did you last pump your spare tire?
Me               : Can't remember...
Helpful hero : GIRLS...

Sorry... I am seriously a dumb blonde when it comes to car maintenance... :P

My first pizza dinner in the office... sounds super sad huh.  You know like when people don't know what to eat or are just simply too lazy to cook so they just order pizza delivery.  Hahaha but the pizzas were really huge and yummy...

what is it that makes a person's heart beat faster and slower at the same time? what is it that makes a person wanna smile, and then cry? what makes a person happy yet sad, altogether at the very same moment? what is it that brings both laughter and tears, or joy and pain? is it even possible to feel joy and pain at the very same time? what makes u want to let go and hold on at the same time? what makes the world stop and yet goes round and round? what is it that turns everything upside down yet makes everything alright. just exactly what is it?

Things are not always what they appear to be in the first place. a person who appears to u as a decent,polite and kind person may not be a genuinely decent,polite and kind person at all. looks can be deceiving indeed. but how can we tell? truth is that we can't. we will only find out as we get to know more about the person along the way. and sometimes, knowing the truth hurts. maybe sometimes we discover truths that we'd wish we never knew. but a truth remains a truth forever and nothing can change that. knowing a person's true colors can also change our entire perspective of a person, well sometimes it may just hurt to know that someone u thought u knew was actually a totally different person and little did u know. would u rather not know instead? would it change anything to know that someone u knew wasn't really the person u thought u knew after all? would it alter a friendship between 2 individuals when one finds out about the other that he/she wasn't the person they thought they knew?

We always want what we cannot have.
Yet do not value the things we already have.
We don't know what we've got till it's gone.

Sometimes I'd like to know how it feels to die.
Then maybe I'd know how much the value of life really is...

Life is like a gust of wind, fleeting.  Seize the day, because you will never know when you will come upon another chance like this.

NEver let the bad stuff ruin your day, instead focus on what makes you happy... even if it is only a small fraction of what makes your day.  At least pretend to be happy, because eventually you will turn into what you pretend to be.  Or you will at least be happy when you know you have made someone else happy by just being 'happy'.

Life is too short to be wasted on feelings that bring pain.  Yet pain is the only thing that is real when all else is numbed.

Sometimes I think I even miss it... the way it keeps me in check with reality... well sometimes, I just want to be happy...

Isn't it true?  People will forget what you said to them, people will forget what you did to them, but people will never forget how you made them feel...

Why is it that sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who hurt you the most?  Why is it that some people claim to be your closest friends yet do the things that friends shouldn't do?

Maybe sometimes I don't want to know the truth... because sometimes the truth hurts.  Sometimes, I guess, the truth hurts more than being lied to...

Sometimes it's easier to just pretend to be a tougher person who doesn't give a shit, probably a person who doesn't have feelings or emotions at all.  One of the biggest life's lessons I have learnt is that once you show your vulnerable self, that is the time you will get hurt easily... well that's life, no matter how thick you build your shield or pretend how tough you are, there is always a vulnerable spot in you that someone will eventually find and hurt you...

Just had the scariest, most intense paintball game ever.  Compared to the first time I played this crazy game, this time it's more similar to a real war kinda environment where bullet rain happens.  Whole day event, 500 bullets and 4 different type of games.

First game was Vietcong Village in a rubber plantation.  The rubber trees were not even enough to hide behind without being seen and yet it was quite difficult to see anyone shooting you from the opposite side.  Had to climb up a steep hill and my paintball marker jammed halfway.  Got bitten a million times by stupid mosquitoes too.

Second game was the most fun!  There were big palm trees enough to cover 4 persons plus it's really fun snipering people from behind those big fat trees.  Third game was the most intense as we had to skulk through some bushes and plantation field and crawl through all those thick bushes and grass... EW!  Seriously like some kinda terrorist thing... funny thing was that the bullets kept flying over my head non stop like serious shit war but no one ever managed to hit me... wahaha!!  Anyway I didn't join the 4th game as it was back to that stupid Vietcong village that's infested with mosquitoes.  I think I'm more afraid of the mosquitoes than people shooting at me.  Hate mozzies!!

Our last game was just free and easy shooting each other and hiding behind some giant balloon blocks.  This was where I got my first and only bruise of the day... somebody shot my leg and now I have a giant bruise...

Anyway it was really fun playing with so many people, in fact it was actually quite scary and serious because we were playing together with some professional paintballers (including this guy who had this weird spiderman/ironman outfit)... but fun anyway.  But I don't think I'll be playing paintball anymore at least for the next 1 year...

It's a really fun place if you want to check it out... Tanamera, somewhere at Sg Buloh.  The biggest paintball park in Southeast Asia... as claimed by the owners... there are some pretty horses there too but not sure if they are for riding or for shooting at...